A wee bit of humour with a little list of just some of the things toddler mums are facing while we’re in lockdown. No offence meant, just a bit of light relief!
Dishes. So many dishes.
I’ve not even finished the breakfast dishes and there are more plates, cups and cutlery creeping towards me on the counter. I feel like I can add kitchen porter to my CV with the amount of under water ceramic shining I’ve been doing.
The monotony and sheer frequency of tidying.
If I have to go round my house and pick up toy cars one more time I’ll be dizzier than a teenager doing spinnies in the park.
Facebook is the new nursery/school gates
Judgey mums are everywhere and they aren’t afraid to tell you that you’ve spent too much on your child for Easter. Nor are they afraid to clipe on people for breaking lockdown rules by going outside more than once or spread wild misinformation amongst each other from some unverified Facebook account.
Instagram stories are a new form of mental and personal torture
I love an Instagram story and am as guilty of sharing all our fun times and proud mum moments but when you’re knee deep in year end reports and dirty nappies, its probably not wise to check your Insta stories whilst making a much needed coffee. The sunbathing/exciting daily walks/homeschooling/making/baking/general fun will only depress you as you stand amongst a pile of even more dishes.
The cleaning. Specifically crumbs.
Crumbs are constantly everywhere. How is this possible? I am constantly wiping down surfaces, sweeping floors and hoovering in a never-ending cleaning circle of life but somehow, 5 minutes later there’s another trail of crumbs.
Milk usage levels are udderly ridiculous (sorry)
Our wee family of three is usually lucky to get through two pints of milk a week. But in lockdown when mum and dad are surviving on about 40 cups of tea and coffee a day and the little man has cereal plus milkshakes or hot chocolates depending on the weather, that two pints can last about two hours!
Maths that doesn’t compute
I thought I didn’t do too badly in school and thought I’d breeze the basic counting and numbers routine with toddlers. But its the other maths. Where you’re expected to fit 8 hours of work, 12-14 hours of parenting, 2 hours of housework, 1 hour of exercise, an hour of personal hygiene and somehow 8 hours of sleep into just 24 hours. And that’s not including time to cook or eat!