
Back in February, when everyone was still going about their lives freely, I was tentatively worrying about potty training. Going into parenting I always said it was the bit I was least looking forward to – how do you teach someone to wee or poo into a hole?!
It was always something that worried me and because my mum had explained how stubborn I was to potty train, I didn’t hold out hope for success with my male mini-me. So as my little man was making his way through the terrible twos, each day brought more anxiety about the moment it would eventually happen. We had bought potties and watched videos, read articles and blogs all about it, so we could be prepared when the time came. We just didn’t think the time would come during a global pandemic when we were already being tested in so many other ways.
Please note – this post contains affiliate links; meaning if you make a purchase through one of these links I may receive a small commission at no extra cost to you. To read more, please see my Disclosure Policy.
Throw the rule books out the window
Honestly, we watched so many YouTube videos which punted expensive potty training manuals, listened to advice from friends and family, and read articles in all the usual mum & baby website havens. When it came to it, our toddler didn’t want to conform to any of their rules and suggestions. We tried involving him in the potty process, letting him add stickers to his potty, introduced a reward chart, gave him potty training books and let him pick his own pants.
This is the potty we chose, which is exactly like a mini toilet.
None of it worked. Just because he picked the pants and liked Lightning McQueen, didn’t mean he was going to wear them. I should probably point out that, according to all the signs, our child was 100% ready for potty training. He would tell us every time he needed a wee, would go and hide (and still does) to do a poo, grabbed his crotch when he needed to go and pretty much all the usual signs. So we weren’t trying to force him into something prematurely (or so we thought).
We involved Travis and he chose these Lightning McQueen pants
There’s no magic week or fortnight
A few of the resources and self-help parenting books had suggested taking a week or two away from work to potty train; the more bold of these suggesting that your child could or should be fully potty trained in that time. Sorry to burst the bubble, but there’s no magic fortnight. At least, not in our experience or in the experience of any of the mum friends and family I spoke to about my potty training worries.
As with everything, your child will learn and do it in their own time. Some take longer than others, and some start much earlier or later than others. Maybe the start of a magic potty training method will work, whereas it might fall down halfway through and you might end up winging it. Everything could go swimmingly (not literally, I hope) and your child could work through a standard set of checklist tips and be potty trained without so much as a grumble. If anyone has mastered it in a week or fortnight, please share your experience with me!
Nappy battles
We eventually had a couple of flukey wees in the potty but then came a major regression. All of a sudden he didn’t want to be without a nappy, and he really, really didn’t want to do a wee. We got to the point it was exhausting trying to convince him it was ok to wee while he had screaming fits, going rigid trying to hold it in. And this was with his nappy on…
Weirdly, once we’d taken a good few days to get over the wee-anxiety, he was quite happy to sit on his potty to go – but only if he had a nappy on. By this point I was picking my battles, and I was happy to concede him wearing a nappy if it meant he was going on the potty freely without tears, and understood the actions of what we were working towards overall.
I’ve never read or watched a guide or tutorial where this is done, or seen as good practice, but it worked just fine for us. The anxiety of using the potty was removed and if it meant he took much longer to use the potty without a nappy, it wasn’t a big deal. We didn’t have to explain a quirk to nursery teachers or have anyone judge us for how we were doing it.
Isn’t it easier in lockdown?
A few people have alluded to, or just asked me this straight out. The implication is that potty training is somehow easier in lockdown because you’ve been told to stay at home where possible so it shouldn’t be a problem with accidents, outings and regressing. So wrong. Firstly, have you ever tried to keep a 2 year old in all the time? It’s difficult. Secondly, everybody’s situation is different. I didn’t have the luxury of time afforded to me to potty train – I am still working full time and caring for my toddler full time. My partner works shifts so we are regularly having to vacate the house to keep a hyper toddler entertained whilst letting a tired adult sleep. It’s just not possible to stay at home all the time, and when I am home, I’m working about 70% of the time. So actually, it becomes more difficult dragging yourself away from zoom calls for potty emergencies, and feeling generally frazzled as you try to make up the time in your work day you’ve missed due to wee breaks, accidents and tantrums about the potty.
Also, in lockdown, your child doesn’t have the benefit of perhaps seeing other children (whether friends, at nursery or whatever) and learning or progressing with them, unless they have older siblings. This can mean a delay to learning about potty training or feeling ready for it.
I’d also argue that it might have longer term implications by learning to potty train in lockdown. Whilst kids had routines they went about once upon a time, from nursery to pre-school groups, swimming lessons to granny’s house, those different settings have been denied to my toddler for the moment. He has already had tantrums about not using the toilets in ASDA, so I’m anxious about him regressing when it comes to going back to nursery and anywhere else he might need a wee that’s not in his own house.
That and we’ve not mastered number twos yet, so there’s still a way to go!
Top tips
Honestly, there’s no big secrets or hacks. The best tip I can give is to relax and listen more to what your child says than what any adult tells you about potty training. Guides are great as just that, but don’t stress if it doesn’t go to plan.
The only other thing I can advise is to make sure you’re prepared with all the equipment you’d need for potty training, from actual potties to underpants and mattress protectors.
Potty training is not easy at all, I remember when I had to go through it with my kids. As a parent, you need a lot of patience and perseverance to help them achieve this step quickly. There’s no manual for it, so you just have to go with the flow most times.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Thank you Mary, I totally agree. Fingers crossed its as stress-free as possible!
LikeLike
We’ve started to potty train as a game and I had no expectations. Just followed their lead. Your top tips are everything that’s needed; thanks for sharing
LikeLiked by 1 person
thank you, glad you found it helpful. Hope you have a smooth and stress-free potty training journey x
LikeLike
Very helpful article. It’s not easy with potty training. But this article explain it all. Thanks
LikeLike
Thank you, I’m glad you liked this post 🙂
LikeLike
Absolutely right to listen to your child over any advice from people who sometimes make it sound as easy as pie. We are all different, adult or child.
LikeLike
Couldn’t agree more 🙂
LikeLike
Potty training can very very challenging at the beginning, but as time goes on and with persistence the kids get use to it, it always best to earlier.
LikeLike
It’s definitely one of the most challenging things I’ve found about parenting so far.
LikeLike
Not a mother yet but this is really informative!
LikeLike
Thank you I’m glad you found it informative 🙂
LikeLike
Hopefully these tips will help a parent who is currently toilet training their child
LikeLike
Thank you, fingers crossed!
LikeLiked by 1 person
I know potty training is a lot of work and I will be saving this post for when I am a mom!!
LikeLike
Thank you, hopefully you find it useful when the time comes!
LikeLike
Lockdown or not, potty training sounds so hard!
LikeLike
Oh it’s definitely one of the hardest things I found about parenting
LikeLike
I needed this! Thank you! Starting our potty training journey today 💕
LikeLike
So great to bump into your site. In a few months will need to do potty training with our wee one. Will deffo keep in mind your tips and advise.
LikeLike
Ny niece is currently being potty-trained. I’ll share these tips with my sister-in-law. Thanks for sharing!
LikeLike
No problem, I hope my words are helpful! X
LikeLike
Such a perfect time to potty train your kids. This time of pandemic we have a lot of times to taking care of our kids. When my twins are in 1 to 2 years old of age I always tell them to go to the car when they peed or poop, until they get used to it.
LikeLike
I just finished sleep training my 3-month-old and have been told to start potty training…it seems like baby training never ends lol
LikeLike
It sounds like you have your hands full, mama! Kudos to you.
LikeLike
Thank you!
LikeLike
It’s time to start potty training my second son and I’m dreading it. My first son adopted so easily I hope the second one will.
LikeLike
Fingers crossed the second one will follow suit! At least he has a sibling to copy 🙂
LikeLike
This is some good information for people who have toddlers.
LikeLike
These are such great tips, I’m sure they’ll help any parent who are currently potty training a little one! Thanks for sharing!
LikeLike
Thank you, I’m glad you think so 🙂
LikeLike
My goodness parenting seems so challenging! This was very insightful.
LikeLike
Haha it’s definitely challenging but it’s also so rewarding 🙂
LikeLike
Really insightful post, potty training isn’t easy! Good for you for trying differenr motives, these are great tips and advise
LikeLike
Thank you. I thought I’d share my experience for any other mums a bit stuck with potty training, hopefully it’s helpful!
LikeLike
In theory, it should be easy it has become a task to potty train her 2yr old
LikeLike
I’m gonna start potty training my two year old and the thought scares me. She pee’d in her potty on the very first try but has refused to do so ever since… wish me luck!
LikeLike
Oh good luck! We had the same thing – a couple of times on the potty straight away then the next day he didn’t want to know. Just go at your girls own pace, she will get there, I promise!
LikeLike