Aka sharing scan pics at every opportunity. I didn’t like sharing pictures of the outside of me for most of my life, so not going to start showing you my uterus and inhabiting foetus, let alone have it as my profile picture.
Make big announcements about how pregnant I am or what I’ve experienced
I’m well aware I’m not the only woman to have ever been pregnant, and to be honest, there hasn’t been much to experience so far – I appear to have a very lazy child. Aside from this, nobody in the world apart from expectant mothers and midwives count things in weeks. 27 weeks is too much time-based maths for anyone to care about. And at any rate, it just reminds people that there are at least another 13 pictures of a belly to look forward to.
Bang on about what I’m doing for baby/going to do for baby
Every maw went pram shopping at some point. If there’s nothing of value to add to that tale, other than the fact I bought a pram, is it really any more interesting than showing you a post of my dinner? Also, I might want to have a birth a certain way but that doesn’t make it better or worse than anyone else’s choice and it certainly doesn’t mean it will happen that way on the day, so what’s the point in announcing it on social media for everybody to put in their own two cents?
Stop living my life if it poses no threat
It’s sweet when people think I should no longer be exercising the way I’ve been used to for the past few years, but if Serena Williams can win a tennis grand slam carrying another human the whole time, I’m sure I’ll be fine with a wee bit of cardio and stretching, thanks. Similarly, if it’s not heavier than my handbag, I can probably still carry it. And don’t get me started on going to pubs and gigs. I didn’t run into the moshpit before, chances are I’m not going to receive a wayward punch now!
Play the pregnancy card for the sake of it
Admittedly, this has come in useful when avoiding clambering into the back of 3 door vehicles, but in fairness that was always difficult at my height/build! It would be easy to just cop out of things like popping out for milk, doing the housework or even ducking out of much-dreaded plans, but what good would that do me and bump in the longterm? Laziness is not a habit an expectant mother should feed! That being said, if I’m yawning my head off in public or struggling with the vaccuum, I’ll probably just give up.
What I will do:
Share ridiculous experiences that people may relate to or might give people a chuckle.
A kid peeing on the doctor? Mortifying and hilarious in equal measure! Having a breakdown at the top of a hill in Italy because you need a wee? Inevitably funny for those not involved.
Share things that people might find useful (a bargain, a tip about a certain product and so on. I dare you to show me someone who doesn’t love a bargain)